Top Ten Country & Western Song Titles:

15. How Come I Only Love You When I'm Drunk?

14. She's Acting Single, I'm Drinking Double

13. If The Bottle Could Talk, I Wonder What The Bottle Would Say

12. Hell Yes, I Cheated (And I'd Do It Again)

11. I'm Going to Flush You From the Toilet of My Heart

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

And the Number One Country & Western song is ...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass The Whole Day Long

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