The Top 22 things likely to be overheard from a Klingon Programmer
22. "Defensive programming? Never! Klingon programs are always on the offense. Yes, offensive programming is what we do best."
21. "Klingon multitasking systems do not support 'time-sharing'. When a Klingon program wants to run, it challenges the scheduler in hand-to-hand combat and owns the machine."
20. "Klingon programs don't do accountancy. For that, you need a Ferengi."
19. "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
18. "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
17. "This code is a piece of crap! You have no honor!"
16. "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"
15. "A true Klingon warrior does not comment his code!"
14. "By filing this bug you have questioned my family honor. Prepare to die!"
13. "You question the worthiness of my Code?! I should kill you where you stand!"
12. "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak. Bugs are good for building character in the user."
11. "Klingon software does NOT have BUGS. It has FEATURES, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand."
10. "I have challenged the entire ISO-9000 quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest on the holodeck. They will not concern us again."
09. "Our competitors are without honor!"
08. "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!"
07. "My program has just dumped Sto-Vol Core!"
06. "You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon."
05. "Python? That is for children. A Klingon Warrior uses only machine code, keyed in on the front panel switches in raw binary."
04. "Behold, the keyboard of Kahless! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!"
03. "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake."
02. "Perhaps it is a good day to Die! I say we ship it!"
01. "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"
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