{salon} Top 10 Technologies Not Allowed In Congress

Congress is debating the use of laptops in legislative sessions. And there are ten other technologies that are also in danger of being outlawed in our halls of government:

10. Wristwatches and clocks: would help squash the ongoing "my filibuster is longer than yours" contest.

09. GPS: have to protect the map-vending machine in the lobby.

08. Magic Eight Ball: known to be more precise and perceptive than official congressional dartboard.

07. Television: would distract our elected officials way too easily.

06. Automobiles: walking to work in Washington, DC, might do them some good.

05. Electric toothbrushes: bad breath has been demonstrated to shorten legislative sessions by up to 40 percent.

04. Pagers: oh, sorry, we meant *pages*.

03. Radios: there have been just too many fights over whether to listen to Stern or Limbaugh.

02. Calculators: let them add up campaign contributions by hand!

01. Telephones: what--communicate with our constituency?

The whole, sad story is right here:

http://www.news.com/News/Item/0%2c4%2c14260%2c00.html?dd

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