Thuh Bull, Vol. 2, No. 3 - Page 14, The Women's Page
what women say | what women mean |
We need | I want |
No, I'm not upset | Of course I'm upset, you moron! |
Go ahead, do whatever you want | You'll pay for this later, buster! |
Sure go ahead. | You better not. |
Look how nice the neighbor's yard looks | Get off your fat butt and cut the grass! |
The garbage man comes tomorrow | Take out the trash, dummy! |
My hair looks terrible | I need fifty bucks for a perm. |
I need new shoes for the wedding | My other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white. |
No, I am not angry | I'm livid |
The kitchen sure so inconvenient. | Buy me a new house. |
I'll be ready in a minute | Take your coat off and see if there's a good football game on TV. |
Am I fat? | Tell me how beautiful I am. |
It's your decision | Especially if you make the right one. |
Nothing is wrong | Everything is wrong. |
Let's be romatic and turn out the lights | I have fat thighs. |
Not to change the subject, but | I'm changing the subject. |
How'd you like the tuna casserole? | The wrong answer and consider me a retired cook! |
You make me sick! | You make me sick! |
How much do you love me? | Should I tell him I wrecked the car? |
Sure, sex would be nice | And just which particular month did you have in mind? |
You're so...so manly | You need a shave and you sweat a lot. |
Yes, I know there are two sides to an argument | Mine and the wrong one. |
Shopping isn't everything | But it sure beats the crap out of whatever's in second place. |
I love you | I want something. |
Yes | No |
No | Yes |
Maybe | No |
Do you love me? | I'm going to ask for something expensive. |
Does this dress make my butt look fat? | Tell me I'm beautiful. |
You have to learn to communicate. | Just shut up and agree with me. |
I'm sorry. | You'll be sorry. |
It's your decision | The correct decision should be obvious by now |
You're certainly attentive tonight. | Is sex all you ever think about? |
Be romantic, turn out the lights. | I have flabby thighs. |
I want new curtains. | and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... |
Hang the picture there. | NO, I mean hang it there! |
I heard a noise. | I noticed you were almost asleep. |
How much do you love me? | I did something today you're really not going to like. |
Are you listening to me!? | Too late, you're dead. |
Was that the baby? | Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep. |
I'm not yelling! | Yes, I am yelling because I think this is important. |
We need to talk | You're in trouble |
We need to talk | I need to complain! |
I don't want to talk about it... | Go away, I'm building up steam! |
from other sources (I don't remember)
what women say | what women mean | what women mean |
The Answer To What's Wrong? | The same old thing. | Nothing. |
The Answer To What's Wrong? | Nothing. | Everything. |
The Answer To What's Wrong? | Everything. | My PMS is acting up. |
The Answer To What's Wrong? | Nothing, really. | It's just that you're such an asshole. |
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