INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

You might be a Redneck Jedi if...

01. You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

02. Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.

03. You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.

04. You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.

05. You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

06. At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.

07. You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

08. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

09. You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder.

10. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

11. There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

12. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

13. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

14. You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.

15. A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.

16. You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE.

17. Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"

18. You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.

19. The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.

20. Wookies are offended by your B.O..

21. You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

22. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

23. You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.

24. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

25. If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father ... and your uncle..."

26. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the darkside... it'll be a hoot."

27. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingie to get the bar-b-q grill to light up.

28. You think Han Solo would look better in flannel cause he looks like a little sissy in that vest.

29. You ever fell in love with your sister.

30. You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

31. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. 32. In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow "just ain't right."

33. You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them damn Yankees."

34. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

35. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

36. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during the cantina scene.

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