Liquor Warning Labels
The board of health has proposed that warning signs be placed on booze bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible perils of having a few...
01. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a manure truck at 100 yards.
02. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an geek/retard.
03. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
04. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
05. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.
06. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
07. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.
08. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
09. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead/knees.
10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho.
11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
15. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
16. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
17. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
18. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
19. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
20. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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