As a 27 year old staff attorney for the House Judiciary Committee
during the Watergate investigation, Hillary Rodham was fired by her
supervisor, lifelong Democrat Jerry Zeifman.
When asked why Hillary
Rodham was fired, Zeifman said in an interview, "Because she was a
liar. She was an unethical, dishonest, lawyer, she conspired to
violate the Constitution, the rules of the House, the rules of the
Committee, and the rules of confidentiality.
Guess whose house was NOT raided by the FBI?
Hillary Clinton recently lost a legal knowledge contest to Kim Kardashian.
Apparently "Do it or I'll suicide you" isn't actually U.S. law.
Hillary Clinton recently called the suicide hotline.
She got upset when she wasn't able to place an order.
1947 Hillary Clinton born.
1958 NASA is formed.
1962 First Astronaut in space.
2019 Hillary tells her 192,234,565th lie.
REMEMBER WHEN ...
Donald Trump was paid $500.000 to give a speech in Moscow?
Oh no, wait ... that was BILL CLINTON
Or that time Trump failed to disclose Russian donors
to his foundation before he served as Sec of State?
Oh no. wait ... that was HILLARY CLINTON
Or the time Trump was business partners with the
Russian government and he received $35M from Russia?
Oh no, wait ... that was JOHN PODESTA
Or the time Trump scored $145m from shareholders
of a uranium company that was sold to the Russians?
Oh no. wait ... that was HILLARY CLINTON
How about that tlme Donald Trump approved the
sale of 20% of U.S. Uranium to the Russians?
Oh no, wait ... that was HILLARY CLINTON
How about that time Donald Trump sent classified
emails from his personal email server?
Oh no, wait ... that was HILLARY CLINTON!
I did NOT have textual relations with that server.
Hillary Clinton holds a world record for having the most friends who commit suicide.
Two thirds of impeached presidents were impeached for humiliating Hillary Clinton.
There are two types of people.
Those that will help Hillary hide the bodies, and those that are the bodies.
How many Russians does it take to make Hillary Clinton lose an election?
None!
So Hilllary, if Russia is such a threat,
why did you sell them 20% of our uranium?
Are you a liar, or a traitor, or both?
Trump should nominate Hillary Clinton to the Supreme Court - so an investigation of her can finally get started!
Reporter: Despite overwhelming evidence, a D.C. jury that included donors
to your campaign acquitted your lawyer of lying to the FBI and promoting
a hoax to discredit your opponent.
Is that really equal justice under the law?
Hillary: It depends on what the meaning of the word "is" is.
This just in:
Hllary Clinton will NOT be nominating Loretta Lynch to the Supreme Court.
How come Hllary Clinton deserves armed guards, but our children don't.
It's true. Facts don't lie.
Statistically you are more likely to be killed by
Hillary Clinton than you are by an AR 15.
Bill Clinton recntly tried to cheer up Hillary by reminding her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected until after he served 27 years in prison.
Optimistic of Hillary to think she could influence an election when
she isn’t even one of the two most influential people in her marriage.
- Dangerous Troll
How much must it suck to be Hillary?
She:
Hijacked her party
Stole the nomination
Used the DNC to launder money
Destroyed every shred of evidence against her
Financed a fake dossier
Promised everything for free
Still lost to someone she called incompetent
- Dangerous Troll
I have only one question following the release of the memo.
Apart from anything attached to her husband, is there a
single thing Hillary doesn’t suck at?
- Dangerous Troll
Q: How do we know there is no significant White Male Privilege in the U.S. government?
A: Neither Hillary Clinton nor Loretta Lynch are in prison.
Mexican word of the day:
SHITHOLE
I asked Hillary whether she stole millions from Haiti, and SHITHOLE me Yes.
We gave Bernie a lesson in socialism.
We took votes he'd earned and redistributed them to Hillary.
- Debbie Wasserman Schultz, DNC Chairwoman
Want to get rid of Kim Jong Un?
Stopping Hillary is a short-term solution.
The long-term solution (and it will be more difficult) is
fixing the educational system
that has created so many people
ignorant enought to vote for Hillary.
Hillary Clinton went to a Burger king and asked for two Whoppers.
The clerk told her she was the the prettiest First Lady we ever had,
and that she was the most honest person that ever walked the Earth.
Hillary Clinton:
Hillary Clinton literally saved my life....
Are you suffering from a terminal illness?
Hillary Clinton's new book should be titled:
Hillary Clinton's campaign was like watching Darth Vader give the
"I Have A Dream" speech.
It Must Suck To Be Hillary!
Donald Trump: Sacrificed his wealth for our country.
It took Hillary about 5 minutes to blame NRA for madman's rampage,
but 5 days to sorta-kinda blame Harvey Weinstein for his sexually
assaults.
Hillary Clinton may teach at Columbia.
Milo has something in common with Hillary Clinton
after Haiti. "We both Love fu-king Blacks".
Hillary Clinton is like the O.J.Simpson of politics - she's still out
there a year later looking for the "real killer" of her campaign.
The reason you're still upset about the election is because you're weak
and lack coping skills. Maybe your parents never said "no" to you.
The issue is not Russians or emails or the Electoral college or misogyny.
The issue is you. You didn't get your way and your mommy can't fix it for
you so you're the child having a tantrum in the toy store.
I wish Hillary Clinton had married O.J. Simpson.
More people have been killed by Hillary Clinton than by sharks
in the last 25 years.
Did you know...
Voting for Hilary because she is a woman, is like drinking
antifreeze because it looks like gatorade.
What do Hillary Clinton and Wonder Woman have in common?
A woman voting for Hillary is like a chicken voting for The Colonel.
Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) was preparing a Clinton special if she
won the election. Two fat thighs, two small breasts and a left wing.
Hillary and Obama supporters are like Christmas Lites.
You see a bridge collapse and Barack Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi,
and Hillary Clinton all fall into a river. You have time and resources
to save only one of them, so what do you do?
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
Q: Why did Hillary run for president?
Q: Do you know what the title of the childs book Chelsea Clinton is writing?
Heartless Hillary - Hamas Hillary - Hezbollah Hillary
Guns don't kill people, Clintons do.
So they rigged the elections, gave Hillary the debate answers,
had dead people vote, tapped Trumps phones, and they still lost.
If you can't stand the heat, pass out and get carried into
your van by your security detail.
Lawyers for Hillary Clinton today announced that they are initiating legal action against Satan for breach of contract.
Remember when Russia forced Hillary to set up a private server in her
home, rig the democratic election and then use BleachBit to violate a
court order and then made her lie about it?
I believe the Russians stole the election like I believe Hillary's
husband did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky.
If you say that Hillary Clinton lost because Russia hacked her emails,
you're admitting that her only hope to win was to keep her corruption
and dishonesty hidden from the American public.
You know there is somethig wrong with the Democratic Party when
both American Feminists and Saudi misogynists are
upset that Hillary Clinton lost the election.
Blaming the Russians for losing the election is like blaming the hotel
room for getting caught with a prostitute.
It's true. The Russians may have rigged the election by showing that the
Democrats definitely rigged the election,
Talk about your fake news @HillaryClinton ties her loss to Russian Hack
and FBI letter. How about lying and stealing the primary from Bernie.
While the Democratic Party doesn't lack diversity, it does lack
graciousness, humility and now control of Congress and the White House.
I haven't seen Democrats this angry since we gave women the vote!
I haven't seen the Democrats this mad since we freed the slaves!
The only thing Hillary Clinton likes more than clamping down on free
speech is scissoring.
L.A. has come up with a safe space for people that voted for Trump...
they’re calling it Texas.
Hillary Clinton:
Hillary is the perfect example of modern feminism.
With the election coming close, I trust Bill Clinton the most.
What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a really cheap prostitute?
Voting for Hillary Clinton because she's a woman
is like eating shit beause it looks like chocolate.
Q: Why is Hillary Clinton running for president?
Q: What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an acronym?
Hillory Clinton lost last time to the first African American President, Barack Obama.
Q: Why would an upright vacuum cleaner with no wheels make a better
president than Hillary Clinton?
I was asked by my doctor if mental illness ran in the family.
Bill Clinton said "Hilary is clearly the best choice for president."
Hillary Clinton on a recent tour through a hospital physical rehabilitation
lab came across a young woman suffering from cerebral palsy. Mrs. Clinton
asked if she could count on her vote. Taking a deep labored breath the young
woman replied, I am severely physically handicapped... not retarded.
Obama played the race card, Hillary played the woman card, and America
played the Trump card.
If Hillary Clinton goes to prison, does that mean Bill Clinton
will be free to
Clinton supporters claim Trump is going to destroy America
as they go out and destroy America.
The first thing Hillary Clinton said after learning she lost
the election.
Hillary Clinton complaining to Satan after losing the election. "You said I would win."
Hillary Clinton, deleter of the free world.
Hillary sucks, but not like Monica.
On the October 29, 2016 weekend in Chicago, the Democratic controlled city
with the toughest gun control laws in the entire United States,
the gun violence for the weekend was 17 dead, 41 wounded.
All performed by criminals who broke the law to possess weapons.
Q: Did you hear the FBI are reopening the criminal case against Hillary Clinton?
Q: Have you heard about Hillary Clinton's new book?
If Hillary Clinton doesn't win the election and Donald Trump doesn't have her
tried for her crimes, she would have a bright future in criminal defense. She
has proved competent at destroying evidence, subverting law enforcement and
generally avoiding prosecution for the many crimes she has committed.
Trump and Hitler actually both drank water. Literally frightening that people
will vote for Trump. So dangerous.
In a recent interview, Putin was quoted as saying that if he wanted to influence
American politics, he would just have donated to the Clinton Foundation.
Recent polls show that 12 out of every 10 Democratic voters prefer Clinton.
You might be a liberal if you believe Hillary Clinton wants the
second amendent repealed to protect the children,
but she wants an amendment that guarantees the right of the mothers
to have late term abortions, to protect the babies.
At The Presidential Candidate Roast
At The Presidential Candidate Roast
At The Presidential Candidate Roast
At The Presidential Candidate Roast
Hillary Clinton supports gay rights.
I wouldn't mind Hillary Clinton being elected president.
The frontman for Third Eye Blind has announced he's endorsing Hillary Clinton,
and changing the band's name to All Eyes Blind.
If Hillary Clinton gets elected as president, I'm killing myself,
If Hillary Clinton gets elected she will be our first "F" president.
Hillary Clinton believes:
Who do you want for President?
Interview With A Hillary Clinton Supporter.
When Hillary Clinton stood by her pervert claiming that she believed
Bill Clinton rather than Monica Lewinsky, Hillary Clinton proved she
is too stupid to be president.
If Hillary Clinton can't handle Trump in a safe area, how can we have faith
in her ability to handle world leaders and the like?
As if you need any more reason to fear Hillary Clinton.
The Clintons are like herpes: Just when you think they’re gone, they show up again.
There are two major reasons why radical Muslim terrorists have been
allowed to grow into the biggest threat to world security today...
The Hillary Clinton plan for the presidency:
As a writer, I've recently been learning about the unreliable narrator.
Because of her recent alergic reaction, or normal cough, or dehydration,
or fainting spell in a sweltering 77 degree heat wave, or flu or whatever
other story the Klinton Krime Kartel and the mainstream media concoct
every time their story is contradicted by the evidence, Hillary's on staff
nurse, Typhoid Mary held a press conference to categorically state that the
science is settled and that Hillary has no communicable diseases.
Since Donald Trump released his medical records, Hillary Clinton's
medical team decided they needed to hold a press conference.
Dr. Viktor Frankenstein and Miracle Max stated, "There is nothing
wrong with Hillary Clinton that we can't fix."
Q: Have you seen the new Hillary condom?
Hillary Clinton, after calling half of all Donald Trump supporters
"basket of deplorables" claimed she never said that. She explained that she
had a headache and couldn't remember, and if she did say that you misheard
what she said because she didn't intend for it to be offensive.
Hillary Clinton is calling half of all Donald Trump supporters a "basket of deplorables."
To paraphrase the Clinton News Network when talking about Trump.
Raul Thugman of the New York Slimes decided it was his "moral duty"
to defend HiLIARy Rotten Clinton. He believes that in spite of
Barack Hussein Obama, the Department of Injustice and the Feeble
Bureaucratic Incompetents (FBI) (among other government agencies)
working hand in bribed deep pocket with the mass media to downplay
her crime spree some of the truth is leaking out and the crimelord
of the Clinton Family Foundation has had to crawl back under the
rock she slithered out from. Raul Thugman believes that if the
press isn't proclaiming HiLIARy Rotten Clinton is the
daughter of God, then they don't deserve the bribe money they
have been promised.
Hillary Clinton recently held a press conference to claim Donald Trump
is a racist.
Hillary Clinton claims she supports the working class. By only accepting
money from the superwealthy, she is not taking money from the people who
can least afford it.
Seddique Mateen, the father of Islamic Terrorist Omar Mateen who
slaughtered 49 gays and injured 50 others in an Orlano nightclub
is supporting Hillary Clinton.
Hillary Clinton
Reasons to vote for Donald Trump for president.
Hillary Clinton treats the truth the same way Bill Clinton
treats female interns.
The four biggest reasons NOT to vote for Hillary Clinton:
Clinton Crime Cartel - Klinton Krime Kartel
Hillary for Leavenworth 2016
Hillary Clinton makes history: 1st person to win nomination after
losing $6 billion, confidence of the FBI chief, 30,000 emails and
an ambassador.
Hillary Clinton is getting sick and tired of being accused of all
the things she has done.
Hillary Clinton claims Donald Trump can't even handle the rough and
tumble of a presidential campaign when he crushed 16 of the most
powerful republicans in the country. Yet Hillary Clinton had to
cheat to finish off a 74 year old communist.
You know there is something wrong with liberals when they are more
worried about 50 repeated words from a possible first lady than 30,000
deleted classified emails from a presidential candidate.
I'm Hillary Clinton.
Better to remain Bernie or Bust and be thought a fool
than to vote Clinton and remove all doubt.
Q: What is the number one reason that Hillary Clinton wants to become president?
How do you lie to the FBI and now you're running for president?
Saying one should vote for Hillary because it's time a woman held the
office is like saying, "yeah, I'm voting for tits and pussy this time"
The chair of the DNC resigns because she was caught lying and cheating and
slandering minorities.
Hillary Clinton has a new slogan:
Hillary Clinton has a new slogan:
Hillary Clinton has a new slogan.
Hillary Clinton has a new slogan.
Hillary Clinton has a new slogan.
Hillary Clinton has a new slogan.
Hillary Clinton's new slogan:
Hillary Clinton has a new slogan:
Hillary made history by being the first presidential candidate to
get caught rigging a primary while being tied to 4 separate
federal investigations ...
Hillary Clinton recently said,
"I often feel like there's the Hillary standard and then there's
the standard for everybody else."
The next time you are caught committing a crime, just use the
Hillary Clinton Defense. I didn't intend to commit the crime.
I was simply careless.
Bernie Sanders endorsing Crooked Hillary Clinton is like
Occupy Wall Street endorsing Goldman Sachs.
Q: Did you hear about Hillary Clinton when she ran over a toddler?
KKKillary KKKlinton. Because White oppressors matter.
Stop saying Hillary Clinton is qualified because she has years of experience.
She has been shitty at her job for 30 years.
That kind of "experience" is worthless.
Hillary Clinton has just made history as the most corrupt candidate ever!
The next time someone asks you what Hillary Clinton has done for America,
you can answer in just three wordsl
Hillary Clinton says she will fight for your family. Just ask the
Benghazi families what that promise was worth.
How long did it take your staff of 823 people to think that up--and
where are you 33,000 emails that you deleted?
A vote for Hillary Clinton means you want her to do the country
what Bill Clinton did to his female interns.
Things I trust more than Hillary Clinton:
Barack Hussein Obama put America in the toilet.
As you know, Hillary Clinton had a concussion and a blood clot
in her skull.
Hillary Clinton has been climbing the ladder to try and get power, here
now she is trying for the White House. She's probably more qualified for
the Big House, honestly. She's escaped prosecution more times than El Chapo.
Perhaps Sean Penn should interview her. She thinks racking up frequent
flyer miles is an accomplishment, not an activity.
Hillary Clinton had her own email server because handling 2 email accounts
was too difficult for her.
If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband, what makes her think
she can satisfy America?
Monica Lewinsky released a statement on Hillary Clinton's run
for president.
Barack Hussein Obama recently proclaimed that Hillary Clinton is the most
qualified unindicted Democrat to ever run for the Presidency.
Now that Barack Hussein Obama and his Department of Injustice
have covered up her high crimes and misdemeanors, Hillary Clinton
has a new campaign slogan.
An American student was murdered by Palestinian Terrorists in Israel
to celebrate the visit by terrorist supporter American Vice President
Joe Biden.
In 2008 and 2012 the Democrats claimed that electing Barack Hussein Obama
as president of the United States proved that America is racist.
The Democratic Primary front runners, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders
are a Hollywood Liberal's wet dream and deserve their own movie.
Unfortunately Dumb and Dumber was already taken. Another problem
is that nobody can figure out which one is dumber.
Hillary Clinton recently stated that "I've always tried to tell the truth,
except when I lie."
You must elect Hillary Clinton as the President of the United States
because she will fight for womens rights. Unless the women are attacked
by Boko Haram or any other Muslim organization that she refuses to
recognize as terrorist or any women attacked by her husband.
We need to elect Hillary Clinton as the President of the United States
so she can pardon herself for her numerous crimes against the people
of the United States.
Hillary Clinton promises that when she becomes president,
she won't tax the middle class.
Hillary Clinton mocked Bernie Sanders recently for taking money from
the voters for his presidential campaign. She made it clear that she
will only take money from the wealthy special interest groups but
At a recent press conference, White House spokesman Josh Earnest
reported that Democrats are not interested in reading Hillary's
emails.
On the Jimmy Fallon show Hillary Clinton proudly announced the
endorsements she received from Planned Parenthood (for aborting
black fetuses), Brady Campaign (for efforts on repealing the
second amendment), ISIS (for supporting the fraud that Islam
is a religion of peace) and Bill Ayers (for supporting the
subversion of everything America used to stand for-like freedom).
When Hillary Clinton spoke at the Brown and Black Forum she stated
she is more concerned about threats of violence from
white terrorists than ISIS.
Hillary Clinton was recently asked if Bill Clinton would be helpful.
ISIS and other Syrian immigrants along with illegal aliens will be
voting for Hillary Clinton. Shouldn't you?
Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, both old white people, have stated
that they will provide the country with young fresh ideas. All you have
to do is ignore the fact that when you add their ages together you get a
figure that is larger than the age of the United States of America.
Vote for Hillary Clinton.
In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and to show her support for
women's issues, the Hillary Clinton campaign is offering a free breast
examination to any female that contributes to her campaign. The breast
examination will be performed by Bill Clinton who has extensive breast
examination experience due to his long years in political office.
In a recent press conference, Barack Hussein Obama said he didn't know
that Hillary Clinton was using a home server for email while she was
Secretary of State because he didn't see it mentioned in the morning paper.
Hillary Clinton, exasperated because the normally left wing mass
media refused to cover up for her most recent criminal activity
of using a private server for top secret email, has finally come up
with an excuse that she thinks will finally put the issue to rest.
Hillary Clinton, spinning Bill Clinton's "I never inhaled", is now
claiming that she couldn't be breaking the Federal Law relating to
national security because she never looked at any of the email messages
or did anything substantive while she was the Secretary of State.
Brian Williams, the news anchor who was suspended for six months
for lying about his accomplishments, may still have a future at
NBC News, an organization that apparently believes that it will
be useful to have a news reader who is comfortable lying to
their audience.
In recent news, a left-wing environmental scientist claimed that 5% of
the population has wi-fi sensitivity and it is making them sick.
Recent polls show that all Republican candidates rank higher than
Hillary Clinton. In a recent press conference Hillary Clinton said,
"I don't know why people think I am dishonest just because I lie
to them all the time."
I now have no choice about who to vote for in the 2016 election
to maintain my progressive liberal bonafides.
To prove I am not a sexist, I will need to vote for Hillary Clinton, even
after she is indicted for federal crimes, to prove that a bribe taking law
breaking, progressive liberal who hates America is more deserving of the
presidency that any Republican who cares about America and the safety of
the American people.
- Cynical Pessimist
Bill Clinton, while not in the video, spent the weekend at the
brothel looking for an intern who knows how to do laundry in addition
knowing when to open her mouth and when to keep it closed.
- Cynical Pessimist
She claims that she is fighting inequality in pay for women
by paying women staffers less than her male staffers.
She claims that she is fighting rape culture by believing every
false claim of rape while ignoring the charges and demonizing
the women who were assaulted and raped by her husband, Bill Clinton.
She claims that she is protected Americans by ignoring the more
than 600 emails she received from Ambassador Stevens requesting
additional security, not objecting to the order to stand down
when Americans could have stepped in and saved the lives of the
Ambassador and instead surfed the internet looking for videos to
blame for the slaughter of Americans.
Yup. That is the kind of hope and change we need after Barack
Hussein Obama.
- Cynical Pessimist
Yup.
But don't worry. Even if a terrorist was dumb enough to obey the
Gun-Free zones that Hillary wants, they can still bring their stabbing
knives, beheading swords, pressure cooker bombs and every other
killing device known to man. After all, Hillary is so busy that she
probably won't have time to put up Suicide-Bomber Free Zone,
Beheading-Free Zone, or Murder Infidel Pigs-Free Zone signs.
Fortuantely for her, even if she does outlaw all killing devices,
thus making the rest of the country a target rich environment for
the terrorists, she will still have her personal armed bodyguards
to protect her.
- Cynical Pessimist
By lying to the public about a YouTube video being the cause of death
of four Americans in Benghazi and still being the Democratic presidental
candidate Hillary has proved that Democratic women have equality with
Democratic men in their ability to dodge responsibility for their actions.
By breaking the Federal Espionage Act among others, Hillary has proved
that high level Democratic women have equality with Democratic men in
their ability to evade punishment for their crimes.
By accepting large contributions from 3rd world dictators of countries
where women are treated like 3rd class citizens Hillary has proved that
Democratic women have equality with Demoratic men when it comes to
pretending to support womens rights while supporting those who don't
believe in womens rights.
By paying her female staffers less than her male staffers, Hillary has
proved that Democratic women have equalty with Democratic men in
oppressing women and not being held accountable for her actions.
By staying with and supporting a husband who continually has sex with
other women, Hillary has proved that being a doormat for man doesn't
stop her from being considered a example for women to emulate.
- Cynical Pessimist
Bill Clinton explained he is bringing in the philandering husband
vote because of his relationships with Monica Lewinsky and other
women while remaing married to Hillary Clinton.
Bill Clinton explained he is bringing in the pedophile vote because
of his frequent flyer mileage on the Lolta Epress with pedophile
Jeffrey Epstein.
Bill Clinton explained he is bringing in influence peddlers because
of the Clinton Foundation accepting donations from pedophile Jeffrey
Epstein.
As a bonus, Bill is bringing in women and LGBT hypocrites (although
it is difficult to call a liberal a hypocrite because you must be
irrational at best, or insane at worst to support the liberal platform)
because the Clinton Foundation is accepting millions of dollars from
nations that routinely kill LGBT and sell females as young as five
years old to become wifes.
Hillary Clinton, not to be outdone by Bill, proclaimed that she
supports same sex marriage. When reporters her asked to explain
her position on same sex marriage, she said, "I prefer to be on top."
- Cynical Pessimist
Every time someone asked her a questions, she stood up, threw her hands
over her head, and shouted, "Hands up. Don't Shoot. I can't breathe."
At the end of her press conference, she thanked the reporters for their
insightful questions and hoped that her answers would finally stop the
conservative media circus and their persecution of a truthful hardworking
politician who might have made a few honest mistakes.
- Cynical Pessimist
I agree.
Hillary Clinton has more experienced than Bernie Sanders.
Yes, Hillary Clinton has more experience than Bernie Sanders.
However, I'm not sure that is the kind of experience we want in
a president.
- Cynical Pessimist
Hillary continued, "When I reviewed my emails prior to deleting
the incriminating ones, I found a message from Ambassador Stevens
in my spam folder. I'm sure the next of kin of Ambassador Stevens
understand that accidents happen. I apologized to them and to the
American people and categorically state that will never happen
again."
When asked about the security on her server, Hillary Clinton
responded, "My server is protected by the Wicked Witch of the
West and her army of flying monkeys so it just was not possible
that my server was hacked."
In conclusion, she said, "Since I have never lied about anything,
not even the death of Ambassador Stevens being caused by a YouTube
video, that you can trust me when I say I turned over all the
relevant messages to the lame-ass brain dead member's of congress."
- Cynical Pessimist
For the second night of the convention she had mothers of thugs who
were killed committing crimes speak. To make sure that her followers
understood her nuanced position, afterwards she led the crowd in
chanting, "Black Lives Matter," "What do we want? Dead Cops. When
do we want them? Now!," and "Pigs in a blanket, fry them like bacon."
When she and her advisors looked at the poll numbers the following day,
they were stunned to discover that her popularity was sliding with
law abiding citizens who have jobs and work to support their families.
- Cynical Pessimist
Is it any wonder that she is supported by more Islamic terrorists
than any other American politician? They even call her Jihadi Jill.
- Cynical Pessimist
It is a lie that she cares about those people. If she cared
about them she wouldn't require IDs to attend any of her
rallies.
I don't know if asking for voter IDs will prevent any legal
citizens from voting (however, I doubt that many will be
prevented from voting), I do know that voter IDs will prevent
the Democratic core demograhic from voting; foreigners, dead people,
cartoon and other fictional characters.
- Cynical Pessimist
Hillary Clinton is a racist cunt. - Pete Davidson, SNL comedian.
If you are here, Hillary Clinton, who is scaring the crows away from our crops? - Pete Davidson, SNL comedian.
Hillary Clinton and no black people? What are we roasting? A cross? - Pete Davidson, SNL comedian.
Hillary Clinton is one of most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-face bitches alive. - Jimmy Carr
It’s not too late to change, Hillary Clinton. You could kill yourself! - Jimmy Carr
Hillary Clinton, you’re awful. The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave. - Nikki Glaser, Comedian
She seems stiff and conservative, but Hillary Clinton gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the Klan. - David Spade, Comedian
Hillary Clinton hopes the Republicans can hold onto the House so she can still haunt it. - David Spade, Comedian
It looks like she’s having a good time. I haven’t seen her laugh this hard since Trayvon Martin got shot. - David Spade, Comedian
I just realized that I’m not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know, earlier this year Hillary Clinton won the Kentucky Derby. - Peyton Manning, Former NFL quarterback
Hillary Clinton wants to help make America great again. She can start by wearing a burka. You have a face that would make doves cry. That voice, it's like fingernails on a chalkboard in an inner-city school you wanna defund. - Jeff Ross, Comedian
Everyone is asking, why is Hillary Clinton here tonight? Because the right-to-lifers wanted everyone to see what abortion looks like up close. - Rob Lowe
Jeff Ross is going to party like it’s 1999. Hillary Clinton is going to vote like it’s 1899. - Jewel
I do want to say as a feminist that I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight. But as someone who hates Hillary Clinton, I’m delighted. - Jewel
God, it’s white up here. It’s the only way we could get Hillary Clinton, though. - Nikki Glaser
If Hillary Clinton is here, someone must have said her name three times. Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! - Rob Riggle
Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in
New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers
to answer questions from the kids.
One little boy puts up his hand.
Hillary asks, "What is your name?"
Kenny," he replies.
"And what is your question, Kenny?" she asks.
"I have three questions," he says.
Just then the bell rings for recess.
Hillary says, "We will continue after recess."
When they resume Hillary says, "Okay, where were we?
Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
A different boy - little Johnny - puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks, "What is your name?"
"Johnny," he says.
"What is your question, Johnny?" she asks.
"I have five questions," he says.
The gatekeeper says: "Hillary, we've been waiting for you."
Hillary: "Oh good, can I come in?"
Gatekeeper: "Not so fast. We know about you. You can only come in
if you promise not to lie, cheat, steal, murder, back-stab and destroy.
No conspiracies, no extra-judicial killings, no vindictive, hateful
witch-hunts, no blaming others for your own faults and no cover-ups of
sexual abuse. And no being a complete bitch."
Hillary: "Well, if they are the rules, I want to go to that other place instead."
Gatekeeper: "Wow, you are self-deluded. This is that other place."
Recently Hillary looked inside and found three empty beer cans and $58,300.
At dinner that night she confessed to Bill that she had looked in the box
and wanted to know why there were three empty beer cans in it.
Bill confessed that when he'd been unfaithful to her he would drink a beer
and put the empty can in the box.
Hillary was hurt and grateful that he had only been unfaithful just three
times. She then asked him what the $58,300 was for.
Bill told her that when the box got full of empty beer cans he cashed them
in.
The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the woman, and there
are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over some of Pelosi's
views."
Pelosi's aide then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and now for
a donation of $100,000 to you if you'll just tell the congregation
you see Pelosi as a saint."
The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the Church can use
the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."
As Pelosi's aide promised, Nancy Pelosi appeared for the Sunday
worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side
of the center aisle.
As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out
that Ms. Pelosi was present. The Cardinal went on to explain to
the congregation, "While Ms. Pelosi's presence is probably an
honor to some, the woman is not numbered among my personal
favorite personages. Some of her most egregious views are
contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip-flop
on many other issues. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed
hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also
a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi
is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally
witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to
lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for
shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington
and in California . The woman is simply not to be trusted."
The Cardinal concluded. "But, when compared with Hillary Clinton,
Ms. Pelosi is a saint."
- Ace of Spades HQ Saturday Overnight Open Thread (4/21/18 )
- Laurence Pinney
If there is no menu on the left side of the screen, you need to click here to activate the menu.
- Andy Borowitz
Now those, are huge Whoppers!
I don't always sell out America, but when I do I make millions.
Stay ignorant my friends.
Hillary Clinton has a personal net worth of $45 million!
That's over 50 times as much as Bernie Sanders.
Which of course begs the question, how does one amass $45 million
in a career spent mostly in "public service?"
Sounds more like self-service.
A few years ago I was in a terrible car accident and went into a coma for 6 months.
Doctors said I'd never walk again.
Then one day she came on the news, I woke up, walked over to the TV and turned it off.
It was truly a miracle.
Do you need euthanasia?
Simply dial: 1-800-CALL-FBI and say you have evidence of a
crime Hillary Clinton committed.
A professional euthanizer will arrive within minutes to assist you.
50 Shades Of Blame.
- Dave Chappelle
To hijack your party, steal a nomination, turn DNC into a money laundromat,
bury any evidence against you, finance fake dossier, swipe the debate questions,
and promise free everything, and yet still lose to someone you call incompetent.
Hillary Clinton: Sacrificed our country for her wealth.
- Kellyanne Conway
Twitter responses of the classes she is qualified to teach include:
How to get away with murder.
Intro to Bathroom Server Management.
Vast Right-Wing Conspiracies and You.
How to Blame Friends and Take Down Enemies.
Self Awareness and How To Live Without It.
The Basics in Bad Decisions: From Yoko Ono to Benghazi.
How to Preach About Income Inequality While Wearing a $12,000 Armani Jacket.
Deplorables 1965-Present.
Electoral College Alternatives.
Imitating Human Interaction 101.
- Jennifer Kerns
1 out of 3 Hillary supporters are just as stupid as the other 2.
Wonder Woman was never President either/
- Joe Dan Gorman
Half of them don't work and the one's that do, aren't very bright.
Go for a jog or grab a sandwich?
A: Chelsea Clinton.
A: Because it's easier than running from the police.
A: Sometimes daddy takes private planes to visit other little girls.
They are demanding that he return the soul of Hillary Clinton who was promised the highest office in the land for her soul.
Satan's representative, George Soros, declared that the promise was made in New York City and that she will have to settle for mayor.
- The Peoples Cube
Russia's hacking abilities are so incredible!
- Rob Schneider
- Rob Schneider
- Rob Schneider
- Rob Schneider
- Rob Schneider
- Rob Schneider
- Milo
- Tim Allen
Got busted for rigging the primary.
Told coal miners she was going to put coal companies out of business.
Endangered national security and lied shamelessly about it.
Called half the country deplorable.
And the media is still like: HOW'D SHE LOSE?
She under performed, took too many sick days, expected the white knights
in the media to do the work for her, then lost the "promotion" to a
white male who plainly worked a lot harder for it.
Now she is blaming everyone else for her failure.
He always picked someone other than Hillary, so I will too.
While they both would fuck the entire country for a few million dollars, at
least we might have a chance of recovering from the prostitute.
A: Because it's easier than running from law enforcement.
A: An acronym stands for something.
Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
A: Well, they both suck and have trouble moving forward,
but at least the vacuum has a handle on it.
I told him I have an aunt who voted for Hillary Clinton.
He knows for a fact there is no chance she'll blow it.rape date other women?
Satan, why have you forsaken me?
Satan replied. "You said you had a soul."
Vote for Hillary Clinton because if you like your violence, you can keep your violence.
A: Evidently the FBI bungled their first coverup and are going back to do it right this time.
- Cynical Pessimist
A: Everyone I Don't Like Mysteriously Dies,
The Corrupt Politician's Guide to Rigging an Election.
At the very least, she could become a spokesperson for BleachBit for erasing
digital evidence of crimes.
- Cynical Pessimist
One day Hillary Clinton was walking down a hallway and bumped into Donald Trump. She said, "Pardon me."
He said, "Let me talk to you about that after I get into office.."
Everyone knows, of course, Hillary Clinton’s belief that it takes a village.
Which only makes sense after all in places like Haiti, where she’s taken a number of them.
Hillary Clinton has been in Washington a long time.
She knows a lot about how government works.
And according to her sworn testimony Hillary Clinton has forgotten more
things than most of us will ever, ever, ever know.
Hillary Clinton believes that it’s vital to deceive the people by having one public policy and a totally different policy in private.
For example, here she is tonight, in public, pretending not to hate Catholics.
She supports their right to be thrown off of buildings in Muslim countries.
- Cynical Pessimist
At least the nuclear launch codes would get deleted.
with two shots to the back of my head.
The reason I don't say "female" is because someone deleted the "emale."
Blacks are super predators
Hispanics are taco bowls
Donald Trump Supporters are deplorables
Bernie Sanders supporters are basement dwellers
Since Hillary Clinton is all about inclusion, don't worry. There
is still time for her to insult your race or religion.
Make America Great Again - Donald Trump
Keep America Sick, Miserable, And Collapsing - Hillary Clinton
The choice is obvious.
I'm voting for the candidate who got people killed in Benghazi, covered up
sexual assaults by her husband and threatened nation security with her
illegal use of an unsecure private email server because the other one said
mean things.
She says appointng Obama to the Supreme Court would be a "good idea."
- Tim Allen
Barack Hussein Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton.
1. Don't Be Trump.
2. ????
3. Solicit Donations To Clinton Foundation.
Because I've also been following the recent presidential election coverage
I've been trying to decide who makes a better unreliable narrator
for my next novel, a journalist or a politician.
So far I've been unable to catch the main stream media or Hillary Clinton
telling the truth.
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
A: It's designed to give you a sense of security while you're getting screwed.
If they are, then Hillary Clinton and ALL of her supporters are a "basket of deplorables."
Not all Hillary Clinton supporters are criminals, liars, socialists,
but they still support one.
- Cynical Pessimist
To prove her support for diversity, she stood in front of an ISIS flag,
and had suicide bombers and other Muslim terrorists stand besider her.
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
In order to confirm support from their voters, Hillary Clinton and
the Democratic Party will be giving out beheading swords, suicide
bomber vests and automatic weapons to anyone who votes for Hillary
two or more times.
- Cynical Pessimist
Why can you people not understand?
The medical problems I don't have are the reason I
can't remember the criminal acts I didn't commit.
The following celebrities have promised to leave the
country if he is elected.
1. Miley Cyrus
2. Whoopi Goldberg
3. Samuel L. Jackson
4. George Lopez
5. Al Sharpton
6. Jon Stewart
7. Eddie Griffin
8. Cher
9. Raven Symoné
10. Rosie O'Donnell
11. Neve Campbell
12. Omari Hardwick
13. Lena Dunham
14. Natasha Lyonne
15. Spike Lee
16. Chloe Sevigny
17. Chelsea Handler
18. Amy Schumer
19. Barbara Streisand
20. Brian Cranston
The following Hollywood hypocrites celebrities have promised to have a nervous breakdown
if Donald Trump is elected President.
1. Adam McKay
2. Judd Apatow
3. Ron Howard
4. Rob Reiner
5. Kevin McCormick
6. Norman Lear
7. Stevie Wonder
8. Jon Bon Jovi
9. Jay Z.
10. Christina Aguilera
Hillary for prosecution, not for president.
Ambassador Chris Stevens
DiplomatSean Smith
Retired Navy Seal Tyrone Woods
Retired Navy Seal Glen Doherty
I'm filthy rich.
I'm white.
I'm nominally Christian.
I get hugh donations from big corporation.
I voted for the Iraq War.
I am everything liberals hate, and yet I am the one they want.
If that's not mental illness, what is?
A: Bill Clinton can spend more time with their female interns and less time with her.
- Donald Trump
She was immediately hired by Hillary Clinton.
I may be a pathological liar and a sociopath, but its time
for a female in the White House.
- Cynical Pessimist
I have caused the deaths of more Americans the Edward Kennedy.
- Cynical Pessimist
You voted for a dick for the last two elections, now it's time to
vote for tits and pussy.
You voted for a dick for the last two elections, now it's time to vote for a cunt.
I've insulted you, cheated you and lied to you. What other reason
do you need to vote for me.
If you would stop asking, I could stop lying.
I will do for women what Barack Hussein Obama did for blacks.
- Cynical Pessimist
Silly Americans. Laws are for poor people.
She busted right through the glass ceiling on that shit.
Maybe it's time for her to have a new theme song. I suggest,
"Poor Poor Pitiful Me"
- Cynical Pessimist
No reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case.
- Donald Trump
A: The Department of Justice declined to prosecute because she was
just being careless and didn't intend any harm.
Made it worse.
- Donald Trump
- Cynical Pessimist
The boy who cried wolf,
Mexican Tap Water, a Rattlesnake With A "Pet Me" Sign,
An Elevator Ride with Ray Rice, Bill Cosby As A Bartender,
Gas Station Sushi, A Jimmy Carter Economic Plan, Brian
Williams News Reports, Emails From A Nigerian Princess,
a bigfoot sighting, Loch Ness monster sightings,
a Palestinian wit a suicide bomber vest shouting "Allahu Akbar,"
and A Prostate Exam From Captain Hook.
Vote for Hillary Clinton and she will flush it.
As they were walking out of the hospital, a reporter asked Bill
"how's Hillary's head?"
He replied, "well, she's no Monica."
- Carly Fiorina
That proves she will be unable to handle the duties of the president.
"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton presidency
left a bad taste in my mouth."
- Cynical Pessimist
Elect Hillary Clinton so that Donald Trump won't prosecute me for
the crimes that Barack Hussein Obama covered up for me.
- Cynical Pessimist
While on the campaign trail, Presidential contender Hillary Clinton
took time out from her busy scheduled to console the grieving relatives
by first proclaiming that this death was caused by a YouTube video,
and later saying, "What difference, at this point, what difference
does it make?"
- Cynical Pessimist
Now they want you to vote for Hillary Clinton to prove that America
is misogynistic.
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
Analysts have stated that this is one promise she won't be
able to break because if she continues supporting Barack
Hussein Obama's economic plan there won't be any middle
class left to tax.
- Cynical Pessimistwon't inhale let that influence any of her decisions.
After all, when you give someone money, you never expect anything
in return.
- Cynical Pessimist
Later that same day, spokesmen for Russia, China, North Korea,
Cuba and al-Qaeda held a joint press conference announcing their
support for Hillary Clinton for President and stating how happy
they have been reading her email and how they look forward to
reading her email for the next eight years.
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
I suspect anyone married to Bill Clinton would feel the same way.
- Cynical Pessimist
She replied, "Bill Clinton has experience with interviewing and managing
female interns."
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
Put the cunt in Country.
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
I don't know whether to be impressed that Hillary Clinton held the office
of Secretary of State for years and NEVER sent Barack Hussein Obama
an email, or appalled that Barack Hussein Obama paid so little attention
to his emails that he NEVER noticed that she was breaking a federal
law by not using an official secure government email address.
- Cynical Pessimist
The server, which was stored in a bathroom closet, was wiped
because it is normal to wipe before leaving the bathroom.
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
However, the Democratic National Committee thinks that anyone who
can lie that convincingly to the public about their accomplishments,
would make a good running mate for Hillary Clinton who also spends
a large part of her time lying to the public about her accomplishments.
- Cynical Pessimist
In response, a right-wing environmental scientist claimed that 10% of
the population has lying sensitivity and that listening to Hillary
Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama is making them sick.
- Cynical Pessimist
- Cynical Pessimist
I voted twice for Barack Hussein Obama, a marxist Muslim who hates
America, to prove I'm not racist.
Hookers for Hillary, a group of prostitutes at the Nevada Moonlite
Bunny Ranch, released a campaign video for the former First Lady.
Hillary Clinton is doing her best to prove she is more of a
lying scumbag than Barack Hussein Obama.
Hillary Clinton took time out from her busy schedule of lying about
supporting womens rights (believe all rape accusations unless they
are against Bill Clinton), claiming she never conducted any business
as the Secretary of State (she never sent or received anything of any
importance in her email), claiming to be tough on crime (unless it is
herself breaking Federal law by by maintaining her own private email
server in an unsecure location) and the myriad of other lies she spouts
to get elected, to support terrorists rights to slaughter American
citizens.
I was recently asked how has Hillary made life better for people in
general or women in particular.
At a recent press conference, Bill and Hillary Clinton were asked
how they were bringing minority voters to their campaign.
Did you hear about Hillary Clinton's most recent press conference to
answer questions about her email?
The New York Times, in an unbiased effort to support the wildly unpopular
presidental campaign of the spouse of the serial predator Bill Clinton,
has proclaimed that the dishonest, lawless, corrupt and incompetent
Hillary Clinton has much more experience in foreign policy than
Bernie Sanders.
- in allowing Americans to die while on her watch.
- in covering up a foreign threat to protect the Barack Hussein Obama
narrative that the war on terrorism has been won.
- in lying to the American people so that the deaths of Americans
wouldn't interrupt Barack Hussein Obama's campaign for reelection
to the Presidentof the United States.
When questioned about her illegal use of a non-government email
address, Hillary Clinton responded by saying, "I never used my
email account to communicate with any members of any government,
foreign or domestic, so there was never any chance of leaking
private information."
Hillary Clinton has been working to insure she doesn't lose her core
demographics. She refused to have the American flag at the convention.
Hillary Clinton has been working to insure she doesn't lose her core
demographics. She refused to have the American flag at the convention.
For the first night of the convention, she managed to find 61 speakers
who were able to ignore the threat of radical Islam and ignore
the beheading of a 86-year-old priest.
Hillary Clinton claims that voter identification laws will
disenfranchise older people, blacks and other minorities.
Hillary Clinton Roast (Actually these were all said about Ann Coulter, but as you can see, they are just as funny when you replace Ann Coulter with Hillary Clinton)
Lesson
"First - what happened in Benghazi?
Second - why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
Third - what happened... to that six billion dollars that went missing while you were Secretary of State?"
"First - what happened in Benghazi?
Second - why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
Third - whatever happened to that six billion dollars that went missing while you were Secretary of State?
Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 21 minutes early?
And, fifth - where's Kenny?"
Hillary dies and wakes up at the gates.
When Bill and Hillary got married he told her to never look in the box
underneath their bed, no matter what.
Last Saturday afternoon in Washington, D.C. an aide to Nancy Pelosi
visited the Bishop of the Catholic Cathedral in D.C. He told the
Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's Mass,
and asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the
congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi
a saint.
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a bar.
Donald leans over, and with a smile on his face,
says, "The media is really tearing you apart for that scandal."
Hillary: "You mean my lying about Benghazi?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean the massive voter fraud?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean the military not getting their votes counted?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Using my secret private server with classified material to hide my activities?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The NSA monitoring our phone calls, emails and everything else?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Using the Clinton Foundation as a cover for tax evasion, hiring cronies, And taking bribes from foreign countries?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean the drones being operated in our own country without the benefit of the law?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Giving 123 Technologies $300 Million, and right afterward it declared bankruptcy and was sold to the Chinese?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean arming the Muslim Brotherhood and hiring them in the White House?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Whitewater, Watergate committee, Vince Foster, commodity deals?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "The funding of neoNazis in the Ukraine that led to the toppling of the democratically elected president and to the biggest crisis that country has had since WWII ?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "Turning Libya into chaos?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "Being the mastermind of the so-called “Arab Spring” that only brought chaos, death and destruction to the Middle East and North Africa."
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "Leaving four Americans to die in Benghazi and go to sleep?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "Trashing Mubarak, one of our few Muslim friends?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "The funding and arming of terrorists in Syria, the destruction and destabilization of that nation, giving the order to our lapdogs in Turkey and Saudi Arabia to give sarin gas to the "moderate" terrorists in Syria that they eventually used on civilians, and framed Assad, and had it not been for the Russians and Putin, we would have used that as a pretext to invade Syria, put a puppet in power, steal their natural resources, and leave that country in total chaos, just like we did with Libya?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "The creation of the biggest refugees crisis since WWII?"
Trump: "No the other one."
Hillary: "Leaving Iraq in chaos?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The DOJ spying on the press?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "You mean HHS Secretary Sibelius shaking down health insurance executives?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Giving our cronies in Solyndra $500 million dollars and 3 months later they declared bankruptcy and then the Chinese bought it?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The NSA monitoring citizens?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "The State Department interfering with an Inspector General Investigation on departmental sexual misconduct?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Me, The IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "Threats to all of Bill's former mistresses to keep them quiet?"
Trump: "No, the other one."
Hillary: "I give up! ... Oh wait, I think I've got it! When I stole the White House furniture, silverware, when Bill left office?"
Trump: "THAT'S IT! I almost forgot about that one."
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