Top 10 Things Clinton Will Do After Impeachment

10. Spend more quality time with Chelsea and her thirteen half-brothers and sisters.

09. A tour of the nation's prisons to improve conditions, visit friends.

08. Step one: appear on "Oprah." Step two: hug Oprah. Step three: all is forgiven.

07. Attend UFO conventions, show off preserved bodies of aliens he smuggled out of the Pentagon.

06. Write book: "The American Presidency: An Oral History."

05. Buy a Hooters franchise.

04. Buy a Burger King franchise.

03. Buy a Hooters franchise.

02. Come to grips with the fact that regular people just can't go around dropping their shorts.

01. Trash the dump before Gore moves in.

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