INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

Bill Gates is one of the most corrupt, evil, ... people to have ever walked the face of this planet.
But I mean that in a good way.

Found on slashdot:
"In 27 years he [B.G] claims he has never called in sick or missed work. Not even once."

Certainly now its proven by science: THERE IS NO REST FOR THE WICKED!

Your Choices in computer ownership:
No Computer
Windows (Bill Fists You)
Linux (You Fist Yourself)
or Mac (Fisting for Idiots)

The Number of the Beast, Take I

Two computer people discussing those old stories about Bill Gates's name adding up to 666 in ASCII:

"I hear that if you play the NT 4.0 CD backward, you get a satanic message."

"That's nothing. If you play it forward, it installs NT 4.0."

The Number of the Beast, Take II

How appropriate that the "800" number for the Microsoft Systems Journal is 800-666-1084.

There are only 10 types of people in this world:
those who understand binary and those who don't.

Failure Is Not An Option! It comes bundled with the software!

slashdot survey

How Many Lit LEDs Can You See?
    0-3: Me and my laptop
    4-9: ...and I can see the wireless router
    10-19: Too many gadgets
    20-39: Slashdot at the NOC
    40-99: Christmas all year 'round
    100-499: The goggles, they do nothing!
    500+: Tan, don't burn.
    Relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.

INTERNET WISDOM:
01. Home is where you hang your @.
02. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
03. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
04. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
05. Great groups from little icons grow.
06. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
07. C:\ is the root of all directories.
08. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
09. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don't byte off more than you can view.

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.

"We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
--Robert Wilensky, University of California

"Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of ram!?"
- Bill Gates, 1981

"Any serious graphics applications still run better on Apple's Macintosh platform..."
- Bill Gates, 1991

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what ... is it good for?"
- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
- Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'"
- Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.

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