Flame Form:

Dear:

Clueless Newbie	Lamer	AOLer
Me too er	Pervert	Loser
Spammer	Nerd	Elvis
Fed	Freak	Flamebait
Other	(please specify):

You Are Being Flamed Because:

     You posted a message concerning a pyramid scheme
     You posted a "test" in a newsgroup other than alt.test
     You posted something asking for warez sites
     You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
     You continued a long, stupid thread
     You posted something completely off-topic
     You started an off-topic thread
     You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
     You said "me too" to something
     You don't know which group to post in
     You suck
     You brag about things that never happened
     Your sig/alias/server sucks
     You made up slang then used it in a message
     You posted a phone-sex ad
     I don't like your tone of voice
     I think you might be a fed

To Repent, You Must:

     Shout "GO RIDE" a thousand times in a packed bus terminal
     "Upgrade" to Windows 95
     Give up your AOL account
     Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
     Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
     Actually post something relevant
     Read the FAQ
     Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
     Post your tests to alt.test
     Removing yourself from the net (you are hopeless)
     Removing yourself from existence (you are really hopeless)

In Closing, I'd Like to Say:

     Bl*w me
     Get a life
     Never post again
     I pity your dog
     Go to hell
     Yer momma's so fat/stupid/ugly that etc...
     Take your shit somewhere else
     Learn to post or f**k off
     Do us all a favor and jump into some industrial equipment
     See how far your tongue will fit into the electric outlet
     All of the above

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