Courtesy C-NET (http://www.cnet.com) - 7/31/97

Top 10 New America Online Terms Of Service Additions

In light of the furor over AOL's recent plan to sell member phone numbers to telemarketers, AOL is reexamining its Terms of Service (TOS) agreements with its members. Here are the additions to the TOS that are under the most careful review:

10. Rule: all customers must wear pants while online.

09. All email automatically cc'd to your ex-wife.

08. Free ant farm (stocked!) with sign-up.

07. Extra charge incurred for denying offers for AOL credit card.

06. Instant Messages now read out loud to you in your choice of voice: Gilbert Gottfried or Phyllis Diller.

05. New feature: all junk email automatically sent to your printer!

04. Special rates for bulk mailers!

03. Genetic gender verification now required in chat rooms.

02. Steve Case will visit your house and personally apologize for busy signals.

01. Special bonus! Free dentistry with the premium access plan.

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