INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

A lecturer who began his talk by saying: What I am about to say may offend some people. Further some of the language I use may likewise be offensive to those of you who are more sensitive than I am. Therefore if anybody in this audience is sensitive to bad language or concepts, you might want to leave the room while I make my introductory remarks.

He then waited a few minutes. Nobody left the room. He then started his lecture.

For each of you to fully understand what I am about to say, you must grasp a few simple principals that I believe in. The first is that all lawyers are assholes.

At this point a fellow in the back of the room stood up, just livid. He had turned red in the face and was seething with anger. The embarrassed lecturer looked at him and said. I am sorry I have offended you, as I tried to warn all of you at first. I can see that I upset you with my opening remark. I suppose you are a lawyer. To this the enraged individual stated: "hell no, I am not a lawyer--I am an asshole."

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