INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

How things would be different if Microsoft Headquarters was in Alabama...

If Microsoft headquarters was in Alabama

01. Their #1 product would be "Microsoft Winders".

02. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle.

03. Occasionally you'd bring up a winder that was covered with a hefty bag and some duct tape.

04. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right", "Naw", or "Git" instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel".

05. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos".

06. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders 95 would be an outhouse.

07. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck version of "Freebird!"

08. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders 95 theme song would be "Achey-Breaky Heart" or "Boot Scootin' Boogie".

09. Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker-"Hookt on fonics werkt 4 me".

10. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word.

11. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt".

12. "ParPawnt" would have a "Pond Scum" and a "Junk Yard" presentation template.

13. Excel would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard.

14. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse.

15. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++".

16. Winders 95 Logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag.

17. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.

18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver.

19. "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson" screen saver.

20. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.

21. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"

22. One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face with a 12 gauge shotgun.

23. Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have BEER servers.

24. Directions to Corporate Headquarters - "Down the road a block or so".

25. Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz".

26. "Well, the first thing you know ole Bill's a billionaire...".

27. Microsoft CEO: Billy-Bob (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates.

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