Top 10 Petty Gripes Microsoft Has With The Court

Microsoft is in court these days, defending its decision to integrate browsing functions with its operating system. But the days in court are harrowing for the brave boys and girls from Redmond, as we discover when we examine their chief complaints and requests concerning the legal proceedings:

10. Microsoft to court: "What do you mean precisely by 'world domination'?"

09. Lawrence Lessig used to steal Gates's lunch money in grade school. No fair!

08. Request to clear the courtroom of disruptive laid-off Netscape employees.

07. Joel Klein using Mac laptop to take notes--prejudiced!

06. Please make Ralph Nader put down his bullhorn while court is in session.

05. Please ask FBI Director Freeh to cease and desist Stealth flyovers of Redmond.

04. Court recorder saying, "Wait a minute, I have to reboot," not helping their case.

03. Request that Judge Jackson not refer to Microsoft lawyers as "you people."

02. Removing MS lawyer Bill Neukom from the courtroom in shackles after every session is demeaning.

01. Court's request to install airbags and seat belts in Windows might be slightly extreme.

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