U.S. Air Force Oath of Enlistment
I, Zoomie, swear to sign away 4 years of my useless life to the United States
Air Force because I'm too smart for the Army and because the Marines frighten
me. I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others
more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. I also swear not to do
any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike riding test as a
valid form of exercise. I swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the
United States, even though I believe myself to be above that. I promise to
walk around calling everyone by their first name because I know I'm not
really in the military and I find it amusing to annoy the other services.
I will have a better quality of life than all those around me and will at
all times besure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of my
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