INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

UPGRADING GIRLFRIEND

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a memory hogger, has taken all his space; and Wife 1.0 must be running before he can do anything.

It is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming system resources. Some applications, such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all.

Although he didn't ask for them, additional plug-ins were automatically installed, such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw, and there is no uninstall feature for these plug-ins. No mention of these behaviors was discussed in the brochures or documentation, although other users have reported similar problems.

Because of this, some users that I know have decided to avoid the headaches associated with these upgrades, and simply move from Girlfriend 3.0 to Girlfriend 4.0. Unfortunately, this is not without peril as well, as all traces of Girlfriend 3.0 must be removed from the system before attempting installation of 4.0.

Even then, Girlfriend 4.0 will repeatedly run system checks (usually in the background, and often late at night when the system is asleep) to find evidence of previous versions. To cap it off, Girlfriend 4.0 apparently has a nag feature reminding about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.

Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend 4.1.
- A "Don't remind me again" button
- Minimize button
- Shutdown feature
- An installshield feature so that Girlfriend 4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects)

I tried running Girlfriend 2.0 with Girlfriend 1.0 still installed, they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 but it didn't have an uninstall program. I tried to install it by hand, but it put files in my system directory. Another thing that sucks -- in all versions of Girlfriend that I've used is that it is totally "object orientated" and only supports hardware with gold plated contacts.

Unfortunately, since I've already upgraded to Wife 1.0, I don't think I will be able to take advantage of any of these new features, unless you decide to include them in the next Mistress release. But, of course, there is a whole raft of problems associated with the use of Mistress 1.0 and Wife 1.0 on the same system -- most notably are system conflicts and continual disk thrashing, which starts shortly after Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 1.0. Interestingly enough, all versions of PersonalLawyer still work fine.

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

I personally find all these new tools and conflicts to be too confusing and time consuming. I'm sticking with Dog 1.0b3. It slobbers and chews up the paper, but all in all these bugs are tolerable. It is simple to operate and we get along fine.

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