Halloween One-Liners:

Q: Why couldn't the mummy answer the phone?
A: Because he was all wrapped up!

Q: What kind of music do mummies listen to?
A: Wrap!

Q: Why can't mummies go on vacation?
A: Because they're afraid they'll relax and unwind!

Q: How do vampires invite each other out for lunch?
A: Do you want to go for a bite?

Q: How can you tell if a vampire has a cold?
A: By his 'coffin'!

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn't have any guts!

Q: Why did the witches cancel their baseball game?
A: Because they ran out of bats!

Q: How can you tell if the Boogy Man is in your house?
A: All your tissues are gone!

Q: What do goblins and ghosts drink when they are thirsty on Halloween?
A: Ghoul aid.

Q: What do ghosts say when something is really neat?
A: Ghoul!

Q: Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
A: He did not have a haunting license.

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist.

Q: Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he is always a goblin.

Q: Where do most ghosts live?
A: In North and South Scarolinas.

Q: Why did Dracula break up with his sweetie?
A: She wasn't his blood type.

Q: What kind of car does Dracula drive?
A: The bloodmobile.

Q: What does Dracula get when he doesn't brush his teeth?
A: Bat breath.

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop!

Q: What does a ghost eat for breakfast?
A: Scream of wheat!

Q: What is a ghost's favorite pie?
A: Boo Berry!

Q: Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?
A: Because his heart wasn't in it.

Q: What did the wicked chicken lay?
A: Deviled eggs.

Q: What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
A: Ghost-Cards!

The man asks the kids what he's dressed up like for Halloween. The kid says, "I'm an IRS agent."

Then he takes 28% of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say Thank You.

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