It doesn't pay to harp on something, unless you're a musician.

Music has too much sax and violins.

My crazy friend composes music in bed. She calls it sheet music.

Q. What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
A. Homeless.

Q: Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?
A: Because it can keep a steady beat and won't sleep with your girlfriend.

Q: What do you call someone who hangs around a group of musicians?
A: Drummer.

Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
A: Drool.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band.

Finally, the captain said, "Either you learn to keep time or I'll throw you overboard. . . . It's up to you, sync or swim."

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