Barack Hussein Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009

Other outstanding winners include Yasser Arafat (world famous terrorist who first started use of suicide bombers when killing women and children).

Other outstanding winners include Al Gore (world famous scientist who discovered global warming, then global cooling, then climate change).

Other outstanding nominees include Adolf Hitler (had millions killed), Joseph Stalin (had millions killed).

What is the diffeerence between God and Barack Hussein Obama?
God doesn't think he is Barack Hussein Obama.

Because of Barack Hussein Obama, we need to update Paul Revere's warning signal for the threat to this country.
One, if by land,
two, if by sea,
and three, if by Presidency!

One
Big
Ass
Mistake
America

SORRY OBAMA
Cut military spending despite increased terror threat.
Higher taxes to fund welfare and socialized health care.
Abandon Iraq to Al Qaeda, the perpetrators of 9/11.
New global warming tax on business and consumers.
Grant Amnesty to 20 million illegal immigrants.
End construction of border fence, legalize marijuana.
LIBERALISM ISN'T CHANGE ... IT'S MADNESS!

Yes, Obama will change America!
- More government intrusion into your life.
- More taxes out of your paycheck.
- Less money for your family.
- A lower standard of living.
- Smaller cars and more bike lanes.
- More "dumbing down" of our kids.
- fewer jobs.
- Prove America is a "Paper Tiger".
- Amnesty for illegal aliens.
- Bring the "War on Terror" home.
Change America into a Socialist Country!

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.

America needs Obamacare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

Obamacare: the efficiency of the Postal Service, the sustainability of Social Security and all the compassion of the IRS.

Voting for Barack Hussein Obama is like winning the special olympics.
Even though he won, you're still retarded.

Barack Hussein Obama has spent the last twenty years spending his Sunday's listening to an anti-American racist hater.
You do not spend twenty years with a person this hateful and not share the same view.

Ayatollah Obama has an Obamunist plan for his Obamanation which will hasten the Obamageddon.

Obamunist: A communist (or anyone else) who believes the Obamanation (Unified Socialists of Amerika) will be good for anything other than complete Obamageddon (complete destruction of the United States of America).

Obamunism: Not quite Communism. But right next to it.

Baskin Robbins is introducing a new ice cream in honor of the inauguration, "Barocky Road". It's half vanilla, half chocolate, surrounded by fruits and nuts!

"Clinging to guns and religion."
No big deal, those are just the first and second amendments to the constitution of the United States of America.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
- Thomas Jefferson

He that lives upon hope, will die fasting.
- Benjamin Franklin

BUMPER STICKERS

Barack Hussein Obama: I've campaigned in 57 states!

Barack Hussein Obama: Change We Can Fear!

Barack Hussein Obama: The Audacity Of Bullshit!

Barack Hussein Obama: The Audacity Of Inexperience!

Barack Hussein Obama: The Audacity Of Hype.

Barack Hussein Obama: Because Everyone Else Deserves What You've Worked Hard For!

Barack Hussein Obama: I attended that church for 20 years - but I never listened.

Barack Hussein Obama: The most popular candidate in the Middle East.

Barack Hussein Obama: It's like asking the paperboy to manage the newspaper.

Barack Hussein Obama: If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention.

Barack Hussein Obama: A threat to national security.

Barack Hussein Obama: 01.20.09 The beginning of an error!

Barack Hussein Obama: Making Marxism Cool Again!

Barack Hussein Obama: Yes We Can Fool America!

Barack Hussein Obama: Why stupid people shouldn't vote.

Barack Hussein Obama: We already removed one Hussein, let's not empower another.

Barack Hussein Obama doesn't consider terrorists the enemy because he went to school with them.

Acorn: Helping felons, dead people, pets, cartoon characters and the Dallas Cowboys vote!

Beware of Muslims in patriotic clothing.

Charles Manson was a community organizer.

If you like socialism, you'll love Barack Hussein Obama.

Barack Hussein Obama Wreckovery

Give Al-Qaeda a Chance. Vote Barack Hussein Obama.

Any time you hear Barack Hussein Obama giving a speech, you need to remember, Hitler gave great speeches too!
And he didn't need a teleprompter!

10 out of 10 terrorists vote Democrat.

10 out of 10 morons vote Democrat.

Change morons can believe in.

I believe in a separation of Church and Hate

If you can read this, you are too smart to vote Obama.

Lemmings for Obama.

Hey, Barack! We'll lay off your wife as soon as she shuts up.

Vote Comrade Obama.

NoBama.

Obama is Dope.

Warning: Bitter Lutheran Clinging to Gun.

Typical Bitter White Person for McCain.

Vote for McCain: Keep the Change.

McCain: Never Threw Grandma Under the Bus.

Obama: Supported by more terrorists than any other American politician.

My God gave me hope and change 2000 years ago.
Looks like your god has over-promised and under-delivered, or maybe he's just lying.

War never solved anything.
Except slavery, oppression, genocide, communism, fascism and nazism.

How will Democrats / Librals stand up to terrorists when they can't even face Fox News?

If it's okay to call Bush Hitler, then it's okay to call Barack Hussein Obama Muslim.

Obama '08: Because I believe in puppies and unicorns and completely disarming America.

It's not racist to question whether an untested, inexperienced Senator with no legislative or military record should be our president.

Dissent is not racism.

If Barack Hussein Obama is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.

Vote for Pedro. He has more experience than Barack Hussein Obama.

I was going to be a communist for Halloween, Barack Hussein Obama stole my costume.

There is no place in politics for humor. We need to get rid of Barack Hussein Obama because he is a joke.

Somewhere in Kenya or Indonesia, a village is missing its idiot.

Technically, the destruction of a nation is change.

Liberal: An open minded individual whose brain has fallen out.

Barack Hussein Obama thinks gun owners are "bitter".
Gun owners think Barack Hussein Obama is an idiot.

United States of America
Born: July 4, 1776
Died: November 4, 2008
suicide

Sonia Sotomayer: "I am not a racist, critics have misunderstood my record."
Adolf Hitler: "I am not a racist, critis have misunderstood my record."

TAXES / ECONOMY

What is the difference betweeen a depression and an economic recovery?
In either case you are homeless and jobless, but in an economic recovery Barack Hussein Obama tells you how he has saved the economy.

"Now, [Obama and Biden] tell us not to worry about their tax increases. They tell you they're not going to tax your family. No, they're just going to tax 'businesses.' So, unless you buy something from a business, like groceries or clothes or gasoline - or unless you get a paycheck from a business - don't worry, it's not going to affect you!"
- Fred Thompson

One reason you hear so few jokes about Barack Hussein Obama is the threat of a special, Windbag Profits Tax on profiteers who take advantage of the shortage.

Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the poor.
Barack Hussein Obama takes from the middle class and sticks it to the poor.

Barack Hussein Obama's Tax Plan: Trickle-Up Poverty.

Your Pockets: The only place Democrats will drill.

Hide your change. Barack Hussein Obama is coming.

No bailouts. True freedom means the possibility of failure.

Spreading the wealth = theft

In America, we don't redistribute wealth. We earn it!

Conservatives teach you how to fish.
Liberals take your fish and give it to someone unwilling to fish.

I work hard so Barack Hussein Obama voters don't have to.

Recession is when your neighbor loses his job.
Depression is when you lose your job.
Recovery is when Barack Hussein Obama loses his job.

Print money? Yes we can!

What can you expect from government run health care.
All the efficiency of the post office, with all the compassion of the motor vehicle bureau.

Liberals never, ever drop a heinous idea; they just change the name. "Abortion" becomes "choice," "communist" becomes "progressive," "communist dictatorship" becomes "people's democratic republic" and "Nikita Khrushchev" becomes "Barack Obama."
- Ann Coulter

LIGHT

Q: Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and It Started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.

Q: Why doesn't the Church of Obama Messiah light candles?
A: Obama wants to keep his followers in the dark.

Q: How many Obamas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it has to be a change the light bulb can believe in.
- Craig Kenworthy, Bozeman, MT

Q: How many Barack Obamas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Barack simply hopes, and the light bulb changes itself.

Q: How many Barack Obamas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. He just glows with enthusiasm and lights up the room.

Q: How many Barack Obamas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. He just gushes about hope and the mainstream media stumble all over themselves to change it for him.

Q: How many Barack Obamas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him to screw it in.

Q: How many Barack Obamas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the bulb and calls it change you can believe in.

Q: How many Obama supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. YOU are the change.
- Mark Katz

RANDOM Q: and A:

Q: What is the difference between Rev. Jim Jones Kool-Aid and Barack Hussein Obama's Health CAre?
A: One's slower at taking affect, but in conclusion they have the same result.

Q: How can you assure being offered a job by Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Cheat on your Income Tax Returns!

Q: How can you assure being offered a job by Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Contribute to his election campaign!

Q: How can you assure being offered a job by Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Publicly display your hate for America!

Q: What do Karl Marx, Mao Tse Tung, Joseph Stalin and Fidel Castro have in common?
A: They all endorse Barack Hussein Obama.

Q: Why does Barack Hussein Obama want higher taxes?
A: Cause he won’t be the one paying them.

Q: Why did Barack Hussein Obama cross the road?
A: To tax the other side.

Q: Why is Oprah supporting Barack Hussein Obama?
A: She has a history of supporting frauds.

Q: What do Barack Hussein Obama and Pamela Anderson's breasts have in common?
A: They're fakes, but some people still can't get enough of them.

Q: What made Barack Hussein Obama help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
A: The check.

Q: What's the problem with Barack Hussein Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

Q: Why are there so few real Barack Hussein Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.

Q: What's the difference between Pinocchio and Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Obama's nose doesn't grow when he lies.

Q: Candidate Obama has been telling us, "Yes We Can." What will President Obama tell us?
A: "Yes You Will."

Q: Why did Barack Hussein Obama decide to be a lawyer?
A: He didn’t want to have to work for a living.

Q: What is a lawyer gone bad called?
A: Senator Barack Hussein Obama.

Q: What does Barack Hussein Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: Deductible.

Q: Why did Barack Hussein Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
A: The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters.

Q: Why won’t Barack Hussein Obama’s presidential jet be flight worthy?
A: It will only have a left wing.

Q: Why won't Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A: It got mixed in with his Rezko mortgage records and shredded.

Q: Why did Barack Hussein Obama think that he had campaigned in 57 states?
A: His heavy pot use has left him a brownie short of a full pan.

Q: What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A: They're both friends with terrorists who bombed the Pentagon.

Q: Why wouldn’t Barack Hussein Obama salute the American flag?
A: It was Americans.

Q: Why did Barack Hussein Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A: He thought Barry sounded too American.

Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Hussein Obama.

Q: Why is Jimmy Carter campaigning hard for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Because it's Carter's one shot to avoid going down in history as the worst president ever.

Q: Why will Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Because he stole the primary election fair and square.

Q: Why will Jane Fonda vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.

Q: Why will Ho Chi Minh vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.

Q: Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Because he's running out of George Bush jokes.

Q: Why will David Letterman vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Because he's running out of Jay Leno's George Bush jokes.

Q: Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Because she's running out of other crazy things to do.

Q: Why will Senator Ted Kennedy vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Brain tumor.

Q: Will Senator Larry Craig vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: He'll stall first.

Q: How will Osama Bin Laden vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Absentee ballot.

Q: Why will terrorist Bill Ayers vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Bill thinks Obama's the bomb.

Q: Why will sharks vote for Barack Hussein Obama?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What did Barack Hussein Obama ask when he learned that Russia invade Georgia?
A: Is South Carolina next?

Q: What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Barack Hussein Obama?
A: One is a well dressed, attractive piece of eye-candy. The other kills her own food.

Q: What does Barack Hussein Obama say when you sneeze around him?
A: I bless you.

Q: What happens when Barack Hussein Obama mentions his relationship with Saul Alinsky?
A: He turns red.

Q: Have you seen the new bumper sticker?
A: It's Obama bin Biden.

Q: What's the difference between Osama bin Laden and Obama bin Biden?
A: With Obama bin Biden, you get two for the price of one.

Q: What did Barack Hussein Obama say when the Reverend Jeremiah Wright asked if he was listening during his sermons?
A: "I'm all ears."

Q: Why didn’t Barack Hussein Obama notice all of the terrible things Pastor Wright was saying?
A: He was too busy polishing his halo.

Q: Speaking of ears, what's the difference between Barack Hussein Obama and Dumbo?
A: Dumbo is smarter than he looks.

Q: Why did Barack Hussein Obama cross the road?
A: To help the other side.

Q: Why did John McCain cross the road?
A: He didn't. He got to the middle and stopped.

Q: Why won't Barack Hussein Obama laugh at himself?
A: He doesn't want to be accused of being a racist.

Q: Why won't Barack Hussein Obama drink Pepsi?
A: He wrote in his book that he prefers Coke.

Q: Why is Barack Hussein Obama so skinny?
A: He has to stay light on his feet to walk on water.

Q: Where did Barack Hussein Obama decry the influence of money on politics?
A: Barbara Streisand’s $28,500 a plate dinner.

Q: What do Miley Cyrus and Barack Hussein Obama have in common?
A: They both attract young people with mindless verses.

Q: What’s the difference between Michelle Obama and pit bull?
A: Pit bulls aren’t angry *ALL* the time.

Q: What do the Leaning Tower of Pisa and Barack Hussein Obama have in common?
A: Both are shifting to the Right.

Q: Barack Hussein Obama and Hillary Clinton were in a plane going to do a campaign together ... the plane crashes over the ocean, and they're both drowning ... Who gets saved?
A: AMERICA.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Unnerved by a tough question from a 7-year old about whether or not war is ever justified, Barack Hussein Obama struggled to come up with an answer. Finally, he allowed that he would probably have supported World War II, reluctantly. "After the Germans dropped The Bomb on Pearl Harbor, President Truman really didn't have much choice but to declare war," said the Senator.

As part of the "Spare Change America Can Believe In" program, the Barack Hussein Obama campaign today announced a plan to increase the number of states to 62. According to the press release, the plan would add five additional states, "We're going to bring in all three Canadian provinces, plus Alaska and Idahoe."

Interesting fact: If you add John McCain's age and Barack Hussein Obama's age together you'll get the number of times Barack Hussein Obama usually says "uh" when answering a question.

Barack Hussein Obama is proposing a Fairness in bowling bill. Nobody gets a 300 but then again nobody gets a 34 either.

Any candidate that John McCain picks to be his vice president will necessarily be a younger candidate than he is. Any candidate Barack Hussein Obama picks to be his vice president will necessarily be better candidate than he is.

It's a hard election for conservatives this year. They'll have to hold their noses tight in order to cast a vote for John McCain. But they'll have to hold on even tighter to their wallets if Barack Hussein Obama gets elected.

People worry that John McCain, if elected, might not last four years due to his age. Others worry that America, if Barack Hussein Obama is elected, might not last four years due to his policies.

And just when I thought we couldn't possibly ever have a President dumber than Bush, Barack Hussein Obama shows up. Go figure.

"After eight years of Bush I am not in a joking mood." Then Barack Hussein Obama is certainly the candidate for you. If elected, he will make sure no one jokes again. Right after he makes what you eat and drive acceptable to the Third World.

QUOTES

"As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his name, but that America gave him the White House based on the same credentials."
- Newt Gingrich

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.
- P. J. O'Rourke

"Barack Obama continues to criticize John McCain's economic plan. McCain would like to criticize Obama's plan, but nobody knows what it is yet."
- Jay Leno

"The stock market was up 400 points today, or as the Democrats call it,­ terrible news."
- Jay Leno

"Obama's people are trying to portray McCain as cranky, and McCain is trying to portray Obama as arrogant. And when Obama was asked what he thought about being called arrogant, he said he was 'above having to answer that question.'"
- Jay Leno

"They’re saying that Barack Obama is starting to slip in the polls. But don’t worry, he has a plan. He’s going to go back to campaigning in Europe."
- David Letterman

"See Barack Obama on the news? He's becoming a workout fanatic? He's at the gym, like, twice a day, sometimes three times a day at the gym, yeah, according to his staff. Well, he has to stay in shape to do those flip-flops."
- Jay Leno

"They really love Barack Obama in Germany. He's like a rock star over there. Impressive until you realize that David Hasselhoff is also like a rock star over there."
- Jimmy Kimmel

"Barack Obama said Sarah Palin pretends to be against earmarks when she lobbied for them and John McCain pretends to be against lobbyists when they run his campaign. That's politics. Barack Obama pretends to be black and Joe Biden pretends to have hair."
- Argus Hamilton

"Both McCain and Senator Barack Obama are trying to woo voters who are outside their natural demographic. In this election, for Senator Obama, that means trying to reach working class, non-Muslim white women who love America."­
- Jon Stewart

"Barack Obama now says he is open to offshore oil drilling. So, apparently, when he promised change, he was talking about his mind."
- Jay Leno

"After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born."
- Jon Stewart, on Barack Obama's Middle East trip

"Today Barack Obama made history by being the first man to travel in a plane propelled by the media’s flash photography."
­ - Stephen Colbert

"Obama said he wanted to visit Iraq and Afghanistan because he wanted to see an area overrun by violent extremists. So it sounds like he already misses his old church."
- Jay Leno

"Joe Biden is Barack Obama's running mate. Yeah, nothing says change like a guy who's been in the Senate for 35 years."
- David Letterman

"Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser."
- Jay Leno

"Barack Obama is very concerned about the global threat posed by melting ice in the South Pole. So he's come up with a solution: direct negotiations with Antarctica."
- Howard Mortman

"I refer to him as B. Hussein Obama. He’s half white and half black, half Christian and half Muslim and half atheist. Something there for every Democrat."
- Ann Coulter

"The other day the plane that Barack Obama was on had some mechanical difficulties and was forced to land. Well, the National Transportation Safety Board did an inspection on the plane, and you know what they found? The bolts on the plane were fine, but apparently Jesse Jackson had taken some of the nuts off."
- Jay Leno

"Giving money and power to Barack Obama is like giving liquor and car keys to a teenage boy." (Tip o’ the hat to P. J. O’Rourke)

2 million people attended the Inauguration of our new president.

Only 14 missed work!

In response to Barack Obama's complaint that FOX News doesn't show enough Black and Hispanic people on their network, FOX has announced that they will now air "America 's Most Wanted" twice a week.

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA (to reporter): Besides the unfortunate name similarity, Osama Bin-Laden and I have nothing in common. One of us is a confident, ethnic man with devoted supporters and a clear vision for the future, and the other is about to be elected President.

There are less than eight months until the election -- an election that will decide the next President of the United States. The person elected will be the President of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. To show our solidarity as Americans, let's all get together and show each other our support for the candidate of our choice. It's time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans alike.

If you support the policies and character of John McCain, please drive with your headlights on during the day.

If you support Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton, please drive with your headlights off at night.

The joke is on the American public for electing Barack Hussein Obama and not expecting this to happen.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/12/world/africa/12prexy.html?_r=2&hpw

- Where an arab, muslim, foreign born person can run on the black, christian, native born american platform and win!

- Where someone can run on the I'm black, and if you oppose me you are a racist platform and win.

- Where someone who hates the country can become the leader so he can destroy the country, and anyone opposing the destruction are considered traitors.

- Where a criminal record and the ability to lie are the sole requirements for election or appointment to public office.

I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power a few months ago. At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Barack Obama took his Oath of office.

However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the President. It was then that I realized how far America's Military had deteriorated.

Every last one of them missed!

Other outstanding winners include Yasser Arafat (world famous terrorist that first started the use of suicide bombers).

Other outstanding nominees include Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin

BREAKING NEWS: Obama just won the Emmy for "Best Press Conference." And the Academy just gave him an Oscar for a PowerPoint presentation he's going to make about world peace. And evidently he won a pro bowling contest in Milwaukee, a bass fishing contest in Arkansas, a blue ribbon for the biggest squash at the Iowa State Fair, the jackpot in the Megamillions lotto, and a poetry contest in Sheboygan.

Apparently Nobel prizes now being awarded to anyone who is not George Bush.

Obama also awarded Nobel prize in chemistry. "He's just got great chemistry," says Nobel Committee.

A clunker that travels 12,000 miles a year at 15 mpg uses 800 gallons of gas a year.

A vehicle that travels 12,000 miles a year at 25 mpg uses 480 gallons a year.

So, the average Cash for Clunkers transaction will reduce US gas consumption by 320 gallons per year.

They claim 700,000 vehicles so that's 224 million gallons saved per year.

That equates to about 5 million barrels of oil; and 5M barrels is about 5 hours worth of US consumption.

More importantly, 5 million barrels of oil at $70 per barrel costs about $350 million dollars.

So, the government paid $3 billion of our tax dollars to save $350 million.

Hence, we spent $8.57 for every dollar saved.

I'm pretty sure they will do a great job with health care, though.

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