I'm a Senior Citizen:

* I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts 'till 8pm.
* I'm very good at opening childproof caps...with a hammer.
* I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.
* I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid, ...
* I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.
* I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
* I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.
* I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over.
* I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.
* I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care, ...
* I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, children, politicians, ...
* I'm positive I did housework correctly before the Internet.
* I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.
* I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
* I'm having trouble remembering simple words like...uh...
* I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.
* I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.
* I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.
* I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.
* I'm in the *initial* state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP.
* I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
* I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.
* I'm supporting all movements now...by eating bran, prunes and raisins.
* I'm a walking storeroom of facts...I've just lost the key to the storeroom.
* I'm a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life...Aren't I???

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