I.R.S. = Is Really Stupid!
Born Free ... Taxed To Death
The best things in life are free until the government finds out and taxes them.
Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes
don't know which way is down.
- Robert Orben
Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.
- Calvin Coolidge, U.S. President
A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money.
- Senator Everett Dirksen
A trillion here, a trillion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money.
- Cynical Pessimist
How much money did you make last year? Mail it in.
- Simplified tax form suggested by Stanton Delaplane, San Francisco Chronicle, 1934-3-7
Wiker's Law: Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
- Unknown
The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the
government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
- Sam Ewing, American writer and humorist
No taxation without representation.
- Jonathan Mayhew
Taxation with representation ain't so hot either.
- Gerald Barzan
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is
that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
- Mark Twain
The best way to put more money in people's wallets is to
leave it there in the first place.
- Edwin Feulner
In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible
from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
- Voltaire
Government cannot make man richer, but it can make him poorer.
- Ludwig von Mises
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries
any reward.
- John Maynard Keynes
... the power to tax involves the power to destroy ...
- Justice John Marshall
The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between
the millstones of taxation and inflation.
- Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
Capital punishment is when Washington comes up with a new tax.
- Van Panopoulos
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays
out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
- H. L. Mencken
When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in
practice, that an old source is abandoned. It
merely means that the politicians have two ways
of milking the taxpayer where they had only one before.
- H. L. Mencken
In 1950, the average family of four paid 2% of its
earnings to federal taxes. Today it pays 24%.
- William R. Mattox, Jr.
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:
If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.
And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
- Ronald Reagan
The taxpayer; that's someone who works for the federal
government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination.
- Ronald Reagan
The federal government has taken too much tax money from the people, too much
authority from the states, and too much liberty with the Constitution.
- Ronald Reagan
Government does not tax to get the money it needs; government
always finds a need for the money it gets.
- Ronald Reagan
Governments last as long as the undertaxed can defend
themselves against the overtaxed.
- Bernard Berenson
We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself
into prosperity is like a man standing in a
bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
- Sir Winston Churchill
Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves,
politicians. All three need supervision.
- Dick Armey
I don't know if I can live on my income or not -- the government
won't let me try it.
- Bob Thaves
We now have so many regulations that everyone is guilty of some violation.
- Donald Alexander
The Declaration of Independence, the words that launched our nation -- 1,300
words. The Bible, the word of God -- 773,000 words. The Tax Code, the words of
politicians -- 7,000,000 words -- and growing!
- Steve Forbes
As a taxpayer, you are required to be fully in compliance with the
United States Tax Code, which is currently the size and weight of
the Budweiser Clydesdales.
- Dave Barry
Eight decades of amendments... to (the) code have produced a virtually
impenetrable maze... The rules are unintelligible to most citizens... The
rules are equally mysterious to many government
employees who are charged with administering and enforcing the law.
- Shirley Peterson
Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the
past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
- Art Buchwald
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see
what it costs when it's free.
- P. J. O'Rourke
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken
out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
- Paula Poundstone
Income taxes have made more liars out of the American people than golf.
- Will Rogers
How is the government going to get the extra taxes? Out of the rich -- or
just out of the poor, as usual?
- Will Rogers
In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
- Benjamin Franklin
The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time
Congress meets.
- Will Rogers
I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing
is, I could be just as proud for half the money.
- Arthur Godfrey
We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter
hopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have
the wisdom to make the right choice.
- Woody Allen
The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps:
They had pictures of IRS agents on them, and people couldn't figure
out which side to spit on.
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?
Q: What do you call 25 I.R.S. agents buried up to their chins in cement?
A: Not enough cement.
Q: What do you call 25 skydiving I.R.S. agents?
A: Skeet.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning I.R.S. agent?
A: His co-workers.
Q: What's brown and looks really good on an I.R.S. agent?
A: A Doberman.
Q: What's the difference between an I.R.S. agent and a mosquito?
A: One is a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.
"The organized use of threats, coercion, intimidation, and violence to compel
the payment for actual or alleged services of arbitrary or excessive charges
under the guise of membership dues, protection fees, royalties, or service
rates.
United States v McGlone (DC Pa) 19 F Supp 285, 286." Ballentine’s Law Dictionary, page 1051.
The first is a "kinder, gentler" way of describing the second. Both are accurate descriptions of how men and women pretending to be "government" operate. The second one is actually the definition of "racketeer."
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