Signs:

On an Electrician's Truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

On a Plumber's Truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On the trucks of a local Plumbing Company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"

At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

Pizza Shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

Over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."

Door of a Plastic Surgeon's Office: "We can help you pick your nose!"

On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."

On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"

On the side of a Garbage Truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." (Burglars please copy.)

On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

In a Cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."

On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."

On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional."

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