INTERNET HUMOR PAGES

By Amy Lewellen, Registrar 12/12/08 (posted last year on the Registrar's Listserv):

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the museum
The halls were so dim that you could barely see 'em.
The Christmas decorations were sparse and unlit
As the economy had the Board in a fit.

They dictated numerous ways to save money:
"Reduce lights, reduce spending - it's really not funny!
If that's not enough we can keep cutting staff,
Surely we'd manage even with half."

First went the machine where coffee dispensed -
"It was really quite a needless expense."
Next they removed half the lights from the hall -
"You can still find your way; you don't need them all."

So the staff all went home and tucked into their beds
While visions of layoffs danced through their heads.
"Who's next?" they all thought as they turned and they tossed,
"It's not yet that dire, all hope can't be lost."

Back at the museum, the Director was pacing,
Unsure how to handle the crisis he's facing.
He worried on how to increase visitation,
Especially on such a festive occasion.

The programming had been all scheduled with care
In hopes that new visitors soon would be there.
"Schools are off," he bemoaned, "And Santa is booked,
But the kids are not coming, we've been overlooked!"

He sighed and he pondered, then pondered some more,
Then continued to wear out a stripe on the floor.
With a nod of his head to his patient assistant,
He asked all the Board to come there in an instant.

With sad shakings of head and no twinkle to find,
The Board discussed how to get out of their bind.
"We'll sell half the artwork" the Chairman proposed,
"That will surely ensure that the museum won't close!"

They quibbled and dithered, and argued the case,
And finally decided it might help them save face.
With smiles all around, they concluded their meeting,
And then went on home for their holiday greeting.

The morning soon came with the sun clear and bright,
With the staff still unknowing of the meeting last night.
'Til the Director came knowing he'd be facing derision,
And told all the staff of the Board's new decision.

The Registrar stared, not believing her ears
And the Curator ran from the room filled with tears -
Their prized trademark pieces to be sold as commodities,
Why, they'd only be left with low quality oddities!

With a scowl and a huff, and a grimace most dark,
The Registrar left with this parting remark:
"Christmas may just need to live in your heart,
But a museum's not much without all of its art."

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